Our focus is on living the Bible in the way we eat and treat illness. We’re based on terrain medicine, a suppressed old school 18th century naturopathic form of medicine with 22nd century enhancements.
Absurd Health exists to do what no medical system has done: reverse chronic illness. We combine naturopathic consulting, biblical fasting, parasite elimination, gut resets, and food as medicine to create radical transformation.
This is not alternative medicine—it’s original medicine.
Absurd Health is not a clinic. It is not a supplement brand. It is a parallel healthcare system. We are a full-stack diagnostic-therapeutic platform built on a proprietary terrain-based medical model that replaces symptom suppression with total biological restoration. Our protocols, diagnostic systems, and practitioner training programs form a complete, alternative healthcare ecosystem—fully distinct from pharmaceutical medicine.
We’re slightly obsessed with terrain medicine.
We’ve pioneered an alternative relaity healthcare system based on Old Schourool Naturopathic Healing.
We totally nerd out as we learn what we thought was impossible is achievable .
Join us in our obsession to end chronic illness by 2035.
We’re an intellectually aligned organization:
We seek engagement into this universe of thought:
We publish articles
We publish books on the topic
And have a super nerdy podcast
Introducing the 22nd Century We Should Have Had
In the 1800s, two men proposed two radically different visions of medicine. Louis Pasteur gave us germ theory: the belief that invisible microbes are the ultimate cause of disease and must be fought with vaccines, sterilization, and drugs. Antoine Béchamp, his rival, gave us terrain theory: the understanding that microbes adapt to their environment, and that disease arises when the body’s internal terrain is weakened or imbalanced.
History crowned Pasteur the victor. But what if it hadn’t? What if terrain—not germs—had defined the last two centuries of medicine?
At Absurd Health, we are resurrecting Béchamp’s path, bringing it forward 200 years to show what humanity missed—and what we still stand to gain.
What Is Terrain Medicine?
Terrain medicine sees the body as a living ecosystem. Illness does not come from outside alone; it comes when the terrain inside is compromised. Restore the terrain, and the body heals. This approach changes everything: prevention, treatment, and even the way we think about health itself.
Potential treatments for 80 major illnesses
Modeling shows our methods outperform
We welcome engagement with our ideas
We’re bringing out some really cool stuff:
Pioneers in Parasite Removal, Heavy Metal Detox, Autism Recovery , and Microbiome Resets
Censored Research
Before Absurd was born, there were doctors, mystics, researchers, and healers who were silenced—jailed, blacklisted, or erased. Their crime? Healing the body by understanding the terrain. We’ve resurrected their research and continued it, building the most powerful, Biblically based protocols ever seen
Farms of the Future
It Starts in the Soil
At Absurd, we know that real healing begins in creation.
That’s why we operate Absurd-Certified Farms—regenerative, ancestral, and beyond organic.
Our farms grow the rare herbs, animals, and organ meats needed to heal terrain collapse.
We use ancient seeds, Edenic topsoil regeneration, and heirloom restoration agriculture.
We also build farms for others—from custom homesteads to $1M+ healing farms.
End Addiction in 40 Days
The last rehab you’ll ever do. Addiction isn’t who you are. It’s a hijack. And we know how to end it.
You’ve tried rehab.
You’ve sat through the meetings.
You’ve been told addiction is forever.
They were wrong.
At the Absurd Addiction Cure Retreat, we don’t manage your cravings—we eliminate them. In just 40 days, your body, mind, and spirit are reset. This isn’t theory. This isn’t hope. It’s a system designed for one purpose:
End your addiction. Permanently.
And if you’re not free after 40 days?
You owe nothing.
PRx Early Detection Kit
Detects ALS, Alzheimers, Parkinsons and MS Twelve months earlier than conventional tests.
Coming August 1st 2025
Our Core Services
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Telehealth & Biblical Counseling
Spirit-centered, non-denominational healing conversations.
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Weight Loss & Detox
The Absurd Diet is changing lives: weight loss, neurotransmitter reset, divine clarity.
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Naturopathic Consultation
Treatment trajectories for over 80 major illnesses from headaches to autism
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Parasite Cleanse Coaching
The only protocol that actually works—rooted in Scripture and science.
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Prayer & Deliverance
Live calls and Spirit-led healing from all forms of affliction.
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Blood Panels & Microbiome Testing
Map the chaos in your terrain so we can help restore it.
Breakthrough Healing for 80+ Conditions
80+ Illnesses. One solution: Yahweh’s way.
From autism to adrenal fatigue, from cancer to Candida—Absurd’s Biblically based protocols work where modern medicine gave up.
We can offer support for conditions like:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Autoimmune diseases
Endometriosis
MCAS & mold illness
ME/CFS
Long COVID
Depression & PTSD
Chronic migraines
Cancer (early-stage & advanced)
Parasite-driven emotional & neurological dysfunction
Obesity & metabolic collapse
If doctors have failed you—we welcome you.
Advanced Research.
Breakthroughs the World Has Never Seen Absurd Health is more than a healing center—it’s a Holy Spirit research institute restoring lost knowledge. Every protocol, product, and farm is built on years of deep study, fasting, and revelation.
Best sellers
“And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.”
— Revelation 22:2
Our Books
We Build Homesteads
At Absurd Health, we don’t just heal bodies—we heal the soil, restore forgotten lands, and establish homesteads built for the age to come. Whether it’s a family refuge, healing retreat, working farm, or off-grid sanctuary, we offer full-service homestead development rooted in best practice wisdom, regenerative agriculture, and modern excellence.
From soil to shelter, our team transforms raw land into living, thriving ecosystems—designed to nourish generations.
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We offer elite, custom homestead creation—ranging from simple modular off-grid builds to full multi-acre sanctuaries complete with clean water systems, healing gardens, energy solutions, and livestock support.
Luxury off-grid homes built to Edenic environmental standards
Full-farm and terrain healing layouts (permaculture, aquifer mapping, spiritual zoning)
Flexible packages, from micro-farms to full-scale resorts
You dream it. We build it. To the highest Absurd standards on Earth.
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The modern food system is broken—and so is the soil beneath it.
We’ve recovered the ancient secrets of land healing and brought them forward for today. Our agriculture projects restore soil within a single season and bring nutrient density back to plants like never before. Our team uses proprietary agriculture protocols—including magnetic resonance, terrain-friendly composting, and structured water systems—to raise up clean food for the remnant.
Whether you’re building a small plot or restoring 10,000 acres, we can show you how to grow Eden again.
Graduate Training
Absurd Health University is the graduate division of Klesia University, a Wyoming-based nonprofit training center for those called to restore the body according to divine design. We are a private, faith-based medical academy offering master’s and doctorate-level education in naturopathy, terrain theory, fasting therapeutics, and spiritual biology. Our programs are not built for licensing—they are built for resurrection, grounded in Scripture, lived in the body, and proven through fasting, scholarship, and transformed terrain. We offer Masters, and Doctorate degrees in addition to Certification courses
