Reading Check out Our Books Learn more Categories: All Memberships Vaccine Detox Headache Cure Cancer Cure Neurotransmitter Reset Autism Consultation Naturopath Consult Microbiome Reset Parasite Cleanse Fasting and Dieting Biblical Counseling Organ Meats Blood Tests and Panels All | Memberships | Vaccine Detox | Headache Cure | Cancer Cure | Neurotransmitter Reset | Autism Consultation | Naturopath Consult | Microbiome Reset | Parasite Cleanse | Fasting and Dieting | Biblical Counseling | Organ Meats | Blood Tests and Panels | The Absurd Health Roundtable Review $450.00 Family Plan — $199/month Sale Price: $149.00 Original Price: $199.00 Sale Complete Care — $149/month Sale Price: $99.00 Original Price: $149.00 Sale Basic Member — $49/month Sale Price: $29.00 Original Price: $49.00 Sale Absurd Weight Loss - Coaching $295.00 The Absurd Weight Loss Protocol $995.00 General Vaccine Detox & Terrain Reset Consultation $149.00 COVID-19 Spike Protein Detox Consultation $199.00 Childhood Vaccine Detox Consultation $149.00 Rebound Medication Headache Consultation – Break Free from the Pill Loop $149.00 Weather/Barometric Pressure Headache Consultation – Stabilize the Storm $149.00 Hormonal Headache Consultation – Balance the Cycle $149.00 Histamine/Allergy Headache Consultation – Clear the Static $149.00 Tension Headache Consultation – Release the Pressure $149.00 Cluster Headache Consultation – End the Unendurable $149.00 Migraine Consultation – Break the Cycle $149.00 Spiritual Illness Mapping $399.00 Full Protocol Overhaul $2,495.00 Deep Terrain Mapping $795.00 Initial Case Review — Start Here $195.00 Resurrection Protocol $1,799.00 Three-Phase Reset $795.00 Foundational Reset $299.00 Intro Terrain Session $59.00 Parent Package (3-session bundle) $399.00 Targeted Consult Follow-Up $149.00 Autism - Initial Consultation $95.00 Intro Consultation — 20 Minutes $29.00 Tier 3: 12-Session Intensive Track $995.00 Tier 2: 4-Session Restoration Package — $349 $349.00 Tier 1: Foundational Consult — $95 $95.00 Tier 4: Full Terrain Optimization & Resurrection Protocol $9,999.00 Tier 3: Terrain Supercharge $4,999.00 Tier 2: Gut Terrain Enhancement $1,499.00 Tier 1: Gut Clearance $699.00 Covenant Cleanse Package $599.00 Monthly Parasite Protocol Coaching Sale Price: $45.00 every month Original Price: $49.00 every month Sale 10-Session Parasite Purge Package Sale Price: $399.00 Original Price: $499.00 Sale Parasite Cleanse Starter Session $29.00 Fasting - Ask a Coach Sale Price: $29.00 every month Original Price: $99.00 every month Sale Fasting - Household Reset Plan $599.00 Fasting - Biweekly Fast Support Sale Price: $85.00 every month Original Price: $90.00 every month Sale Fasting - Monthly Guidance $45.00 every 4 weeks Fasting - Deep Dive – 10 Sessions Sale Price: $399.00 Original Price: $499.00 Sale Fasting - Foundations Package – Intro Session $29.00 Fasting - "The Forty Reset” Package – 10 Consults Sale Price: $399.00 Original Price: $499.00 Sale Biblical Counseling - “Tenfold Restoration” Package – 10 Sessions Sale Price: $399.00 Original Price: $499.00 Sale Biblical Counseling - Family & Covenant Counseling: “The Two Shall Become One” $99.00 Biblical Counseling - Deep Dive: “The Healing Wellspring” $79.00 Biblical Counseling - Standard Session: “The Narrow Path” $49.00 Biblical Counseling - Intro Session: “The First Light” $29.00 Pineal Decalcification Assessment (Serum Melatonin, Fluoride, Phosphate, Heavy Metals) $375.00 Mitochondrial Resilience Panel (Lactate, Pyruvate, CoQ10, Carnitine, Organic Acids) Sale Price: $449.00 Original Price: $569.00 Sale Thyroid Terrain Panel (TSH, Free T3, Free T4, Reverse T3, Anti-TPO, Anti-Tg) $299.00 Aldosterone / Plasma Renin Activity Ratio Sale Price: $199.00 Original Price: $249.00 Sale IGF‑1 (Insulin-like Growth Factor 1, LC/MS/MS, Fractionated) $149.00 Catecholamines Panel (Plasma, Fractionated) $339.00 Follicle-Stimulating Hormone (FSH) $129.00 Estradiol (Serum, LC/MS/MS) $169.00 Comprehensive Food Allergy Panel (IgG + IgE 96 Foods) $329.00 Progesterone (LC/MS/MS) $149.00 Vitamin K (MK‑7) $179.00 Sex Hormone Panel (Total & Free Testosterone + SHBG) $165.00 Neurotransmitter & Catecholamine Panel (24-Hour Urine Collection) $420.00 Mitochondrial Function Panel (Lactate, Pyruvate, Organic Acids) $299.00 Autoimmune Terrain Panel (ANA, hsCRP, RF, TGF-β1, Complement C3/C4) $319.00 Heavy Metals & Mineral Ratios Panel (Hair or Urine Analysis) $289.00 Micronutrient Deficiency Panel (Intracellular Analysis) $499.00 Mycotoxin Panel (Urine Mycotoxin Screen) $389.00 Comprehensive Stool Analysis w/ Parasitology & Gut Terrain Markers $499.00 Zonulin + LPS Antibody Panel $249.00 Advanced Lipid Panel (LDL Particle Size, sdLDL, HDL, Triglycerides) $219.00 Omega-3 & Omega-6 Fatty Acids Panel $199.00 Cortisol (AM), Salivary or Serum $149.00 DHEA-S + Total Testosterone Panel $179.00 Homocysteine + B12 + Folate Panel $179.00 Thyroid Panel with Antibodies $249.00 Ferritin + Iron Panel $159.00 HbA1c + Fasting Insulin Panel $159.00 hs-CRP (High-Sensitivity C-Reactive Protein) $149.00 Vitamin D (25-Hydroxy) + Magnesium RBC $229.00 Complete Blood Count (CBC) with Differential $125.00 Comprehensive Metabolic Panel + GGT $199.00 Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised Super Organic 'SuperEggs' $25.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Bovine Pancreatic Islet $823.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Bone Marrow Jars $49.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Bovine Prostate $328.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Bovine Pineal Gland $1,169.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Lamb Brain $612.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Pasture Beef Lung $78.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed Super Organic Cow Ovary $339.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Prairie Oysters $212.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised Super Organic Beef Pancreas $148.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed Super Organic Beef Spleen $97.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed Pasture Raised Organic Beef Thymus $110.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised Grass Fed Beef Adrenal Gland $74.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Grass Fed Organic Grass Fed Tallow - 7lbs (One Month) $70.00 Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised Grass Fed Organic Beef Heart $34.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Super Organic Grass Fed Beef Kidney $27.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised, Super Organic Chicken Liver $12.00 Sold out Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised Super Organic Beef Liver $20.00 Sold out
