Image 1 of 1
Absurd Certified - Pasture Raised Super Organic 'SuperEggs'
The Temple Egg. Strength, Structure, and Resurrection Simplicity.
In a world of sterile shelves and broken yolks, the egg remains a parable—the perfect form, the portable meal, the symbol of resurrection. But not all eggs are created equal.
These are not factory eggs. These are not “organic” by label only.
These are super eggs—laid by hens living in what can only be called the Garden: a regenerative farm where everything is designed around hen happiness, sacred rhythm, and the vitality of creation. No cages, no cruelty. Just air, insects, sunlight, and covenant soil. These are chickens cultivated over multiple generations never killed for meat but only for egg laying. Even the soil they walk on is enhanced especially for their genetic success.
Each hen lays three massive eggs, nearly double the size of store eggs, rich in yolk and spiritual density. They are dense, bright, and substantial—offering the weak a meal that is gentle, digestible, and divinely nourishing. Especially during long fasts or chronic terrain collapse, these eggs are not just food. They are rebuilding codes.
Nutritional Profile (per jumbo egg):
6–8g complete bioavailable protein – rich in methionine, cysteine, and lysine
Raw cholesterol – essential precursor for steroid hormones and brain repair
Choline – brain fuel and liver protector, critical post-fasting
Vitamins A, D, E, and K2 – fat-soluble quartet for bone, hormone, and vision
Omega-3s from pasture for anti-inflammatory effect
B12, folate, biotin – terrain restoration nutrients, especially for nerve sheath and energy
Lecithin & phospholipids – emulsify bile and heal gut lining
Astaxanthin & xanthophylls – yolk pigments that protect eyes and mitochondria
These are not just eggs.
These are resurrection vessels.
Why Absurd Super Eggs Matter
In the Absurd terrain model, these eggs are used to:
Break long fasts with minimal digestive strain
Rebuild neurotransmitters after terrain collapse or trauma
Nourish those too weak for meat or broth
Deliver deep yolk nutrition to children, elderly, or severely ill
Support hormone production, liver detox, and spiritual clarity
Ground the body in covenant rhythm post-fasting
Pair with tallow, marrow, or broth to form the base of resurrection meals
Anchor healing after parasite cleanses, seizures, or viral crashes
Usage Guidelines
For breaking a fast: 1 soft-boiled or slow-scrambled egg in tallow
For recovery meals: 2–3 eggs daily, with marrow or structured water
For pregnancy, postpartum, or spiritual exhaustion: use 5x/week
Pairs with sea salt, bitter greens, and prayerful stillness
Always cook gently—this is not food to rush
Store refrigerated, consume within 2 weeks of delivery
The Covenant Egg
“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” — Psalm 139:5
“He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies.” — Romans 8:11
The egg is geometry, simplicity, and design.
It contains the blueprint for flesh, blood, bone, and spirit.
It is the temple food of those being rebuilt.
Use these eggs when everything else fails.
When digestion is fragile.
When strength is faint.
When the soul is reaching toward the next breath.
Eat. And rise again.
Back in stock in the late Fall 2025.
The Temple Egg. Strength, Structure, and Resurrection Simplicity.
In a world of sterile shelves and broken yolks, the egg remains a parable—the perfect form, the portable meal, the symbol of resurrection. But not all eggs are created equal.
These are not factory eggs. These are not “organic” by label only.
These are super eggs—laid by hens living in what can only be called the Garden: a regenerative farm where everything is designed around hen happiness, sacred rhythm, and the vitality of creation. No cages, no cruelty. Just air, insects, sunlight, and covenant soil. These are chickens cultivated over multiple generations never killed for meat but only for egg laying. Even the soil they walk on is enhanced especially for their genetic success.
Each hen lays three massive eggs, nearly double the size of store eggs, rich in yolk and spiritual density. They are dense, bright, and substantial—offering the weak a meal that is gentle, digestible, and divinely nourishing. Especially during long fasts or chronic terrain collapse, these eggs are not just food. They are rebuilding codes.
Nutritional Profile (per jumbo egg):
6–8g complete bioavailable protein – rich in methionine, cysteine, and lysine
Raw cholesterol – essential precursor for steroid hormones and brain repair
Choline – brain fuel and liver protector, critical post-fasting
Vitamins A, D, E, and K2 – fat-soluble quartet for bone, hormone, and vision
Omega-3s from pasture for anti-inflammatory effect
B12, folate, biotin – terrain restoration nutrients, especially for nerve sheath and energy
Lecithin & phospholipids – emulsify bile and heal gut lining
Astaxanthin & xanthophylls – yolk pigments that protect eyes and mitochondria
These are not just eggs.
These are resurrection vessels.
Why Absurd Super Eggs Matter
In the Absurd terrain model, these eggs are used to:
Break long fasts with minimal digestive strain
Rebuild neurotransmitters after terrain collapse or trauma
Nourish those too weak for meat or broth
Deliver deep yolk nutrition to children, elderly, or severely ill
Support hormone production, liver detox, and spiritual clarity
Ground the body in covenant rhythm post-fasting
Pair with tallow, marrow, or broth to form the base of resurrection meals
Anchor healing after parasite cleanses, seizures, or viral crashes
Usage Guidelines
For breaking a fast: 1 soft-boiled or slow-scrambled egg in tallow
For recovery meals: 2–3 eggs daily, with marrow or structured water
For pregnancy, postpartum, or spiritual exhaustion: use 5x/week
Pairs with sea salt, bitter greens, and prayerful stillness
Always cook gently—this is not food to rush
Store refrigerated, consume within 2 weeks of delivery
The Covenant Egg
“You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” — Psalm 139:5
“He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies.” — Romans 8:11
The egg is geometry, simplicity, and design.
It contains the blueprint for flesh, blood, bone, and spirit.
It is the temple food of those being rebuilt.
Use these eggs when everything else fails.
When digestion is fragile.
When strength is faint.
When the soul is reaching toward the next breath.
Eat. And rise again.
Back in stock in the late Fall 2025.