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Absurd Certified - Grass Fed, Super Organic Prairie Oysters
Restoring the Flame of the Father. Vitality, Dominion, and the Covenant Seed.
The testicles are not just reproductive organs—they are divine command centers of masculine restoration. Designed to carry the seed of future generations, they regulate testosterone, vitality, drive, mood, confidence, muscle repair, and generational continuity. When the world emasculates, pollutes, and fatigues, testicle glandular support is a direct act of rebellion—and a return to the Genesis blueprint.
In a terrain degraded by estrogenic plastics, endocrine disruptors, and spiritual passivity, many men are in silent collapse. Low testosterone. Infertility. Depression. Fatigue. Confusion about purpose. The testicles are whispering: “Remember your call.”
Our grass-fed, pasture-raised testicle tissue (also known as prairie oysters) is sourced from regenerative farms, handled with dignity, and offered either freeze-dried for daily use, or raw-frozen for the boldest terrain reprogrammers. No hormones. No fillers. Just the God-ordained essence of strength, authority, and renewal.
Nutritional Profile (per 3g freeze-dried serving):
Testosterone precursors (cholesterol, pregnenolone, DHEA)
Rare peptides for luteinizing hormone & GnRH signaling
Zinc and selenium (critical for sperm, DNA, and T-levels)
Vitamin A, E, and B-complex co-factors
Highly bioavailable protein & enzymatic activators
Phospholipids and saturated fats that build steroid hormones
0g carbohydrates, no sugar, no artificial anything
Unlike synthetic testosterone or hormone therapy, testicle gland acts at the root—teaching your body to reignite its own holy fire.
Why Testicle Gland Matters
In the Absurd terrain system, testicle gland is used to:
Support male hormonal axis after stress, fasting, or chronic illness
Recover libido, drive, strength, and purpose post-parasite cleanse
Enhance fertility, mood stability, and confidence
Address low testosterone without suppressing natural production
Restore masculine covenant identity lost through trauma or fatigue
Break the loop of spiritual passivity and hormonal stagnation
Rebuild DNA vitality after exposure to xenoestrogens, vaccines, or microplastics
This is not vanity. It is honor to the vessel Yahweh made you to be.
Usage Guidelines
Start with ½ tsp freeze-dried powder or 1–2 capsules in the morning
Can be taken post-fast to restore hormonal rhythm
Stack with adrenal, spleen, and liver for full male terrain reset
Optional: rotate with ovary for couples doing fertility or covenant rebalancing
Use for 4–6 week cycles, then rest
For advanced restoration: consume fresh-frozen with salt and lemon juice 1–2x/week (consult practitioner)
A Note for Women
Yes, women can use testicle glandular in microdoses (¼ tsp or less) to assist with androgen deficiency, post-partum terrain collapse, or chronic fatigue—but it must be spiritually discerned. Not all bodies need this flame.
The Flame of Dominion
“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule…” — Genesis 1:28
“The glory of young men is their strength.” — Proverbs 20:29
To eat the testicle is to honor dominion, to restore the masculine fire entrusted by Yahweh, and to push back the fog of passivity that has muted a generation of men. It’s not about aggression—it’s about order, clarity, provision, and purpose.
In the Absurd Fast and post-cleanse protocols, this gland is sacred. Use it to remember who you are.
Restoring the Flame of the Father. Vitality, Dominion, and the Covenant Seed.
The testicles are not just reproductive organs—they are divine command centers of masculine restoration. Designed to carry the seed of future generations, they regulate testosterone, vitality, drive, mood, confidence, muscle repair, and generational continuity. When the world emasculates, pollutes, and fatigues, testicle glandular support is a direct act of rebellion—and a return to the Genesis blueprint.
In a terrain degraded by estrogenic plastics, endocrine disruptors, and spiritual passivity, many men are in silent collapse. Low testosterone. Infertility. Depression. Fatigue. Confusion about purpose. The testicles are whispering: “Remember your call.”
Our grass-fed, pasture-raised testicle tissue (also known as prairie oysters) is sourced from regenerative farms, handled with dignity, and offered either freeze-dried for daily use, or raw-frozen for the boldest terrain reprogrammers. No hormones. No fillers. Just the God-ordained essence of strength, authority, and renewal.
Nutritional Profile (per 3g freeze-dried serving):
Testosterone precursors (cholesterol, pregnenolone, DHEA)
Rare peptides for luteinizing hormone & GnRH signaling
Zinc and selenium (critical for sperm, DNA, and T-levels)
Vitamin A, E, and B-complex co-factors
Highly bioavailable protein & enzymatic activators
Phospholipids and saturated fats that build steroid hormones
0g carbohydrates, no sugar, no artificial anything
Unlike synthetic testosterone or hormone therapy, testicle gland acts at the root—teaching your body to reignite its own holy fire.
Why Testicle Gland Matters
In the Absurd terrain system, testicle gland is used to:
Support male hormonal axis after stress, fasting, or chronic illness
Recover libido, drive, strength, and purpose post-parasite cleanse
Enhance fertility, mood stability, and confidence
Address low testosterone without suppressing natural production
Restore masculine covenant identity lost through trauma or fatigue
Break the loop of spiritual passivity and hormonal stagnation
Rebuild DNA vitality after exposure to xenoestrogens, vaccines, or microplastics
This is not vanity. It is honor to the vessel Yahweh made you to be.
Usage Guidelines
Start with ½ tsp freeze-dried powder or 1–2 capsules in the morning
Can be taken post-fast to restore hormonal rhythm
Stack with adrenal, spleen, and liver for full male terrain reset
Optional: rotate with ovary for couples doing fertility or covenant rebalancing
Use for 4–6 week cycles, then rest
For advanced restoration: consume fresh-frozen with salt and lemon juice 1–2x/week (consult practitioner)
A Note for Women
Yes, women can use testicle glandular in microdoses (¼ tsp or less) to assist with androgen deficiency, post-partum terrain collapse, or chronic fatigue—but it must be spiritually discerned. Not all bodies need this flame.
The Flame of Dominion
“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule…” — Genesis 1:28
“The glory of young men is their strength.” — Proverbs 20:29
To eat the testicle is to honor dominion, to restore the masculine fire entrusted by Yahweh, and to push back the fog of passivity that has muted a generation of men. It’s not about aggression—it’s about order, clarity, provision, and purpose.
In the Absurd Fast and post-cleanse protocols, this gland is sacred. Use it to remember who you are.