Real Healthcare
If you’re healthy, we’ll help you get healthier.
If you’re sick, we’ll give you hope—and everything you need to get better.
Absurd Health is not insurance. It’s better.
We’re your first line of defense, your spirit-led health team, and your ongoing care provider—outside the medical system.
When you join, you become part of a private covenant membership that gives you access to:
Breakthrough health plans
Faith-based consultations
Custom nutrition and supplement protocols
Fasting guidance
Counseling, coaching, and prevention
You don’t need to wait for a diagnosis.
You don’t need permission from a doctor.
You just need to join—and start healing.
What’s inside
Basic Member – $49/month
Full access to protocols and courses
One annual custom healing plan
Monthly group Q&A calls
Educational email series
10% off all store purchases
Complete Care – $149/month
Everything in Basic, plus:
One 1-on-1 consults per month
Priority protocol design & coaching access
Full supplement optimization
One Free Counseling session per month
Custom reading, fasting, and spiritual rhythm plan
Roundtable review eligibility (1/year)
20% off all store purchases
Family Plan – $199/month
Covers two adults + all children
Pediatric support + parasite strategy
Active recovery plans
Two Free Counseling Sessions per month
Family food and rhythm protocols
Birth and postpartum coaching access
Priority access for crisis care
25% off all store purchases
The Absurd Health Roundtable Review
Get the Wisdom of a Team, Not Just One Voice.
When you're dealing with chronic illness, breakthrough requires more than a single opinion. Our Roundtable Reviewbrings together multiple certified professionals from different disciplines—biological, spiritual, and clinical—to evaluate your case and provide a comprehensive 360° healing strategy.
Every Roundtable is convened for one purpose: to help you get well.
What’s Included:
A full review of your intake, symptoms, history, labs (if applicable), and current challenges
3–4 expert perspectives from our team: RD physicians, terrain specialists, spiritual counselors, trauma practitioners, or birth/fertility advisors
A 20–30 minute recorded case discussion (video or audio)
A personalized Breakthrough Report: your 90-day recovery path with specific action steps
Supplement, dietary, spiritual, and lifestyle strategy
Referral to follow-up resources (consults, labs, retreats, or coaching)
Who This Is For:
Those with complex, unresolved illness
Those needing direction after multiple failed treatments
Families seeking a non-fragmented, faith-based path forward
Anyone who feels stuck and wants clarity + conviction + a plan
Cost:
$450 (flat)
Members on the Complete or Family plan receive $100–$200 discount.
This Is Not Conventional Medicine.
You’re not getting passed from one specialist to another. You’re getting a team of aligned professionals who understand your body and your soul. We pray, we think, we listen—and we return with a plan.
Let us walk with you toward restoration.
Breakthrough Support
Upon diagnosis, members can request a Breakthrough Plan at any time.
This includes:
Intake + lab review (optional)
90-day terrain recovery protocol
Specific treatment plan for your diagnosis
Coaching check-in
Progress updates and plan refresh
Designed for: cancer, autoimmunity, fertility, anxiety, long COVID, burnout, trauma
Cost for members: FREE
Life Coaching Included
As a member, you receive one complimentary life coaching session per month—because healing is more than physical. These 45-minute sessions are designed to help you gain clarity, direction, and momentum in your personal, relational, or vocational life.
Our certified coaches offer biblically rooted wisdom, practical strategy, and Spirit-led insight to help you move forward with purpose. Whether you’re navigating a major life decision, overcoming discouragement, or reorienting your future, your coach is here to walk with you.
One session per month is included in all membership tiers. Additional sessions available at discounted member rates.
We’re not here to manage symptoms.
We’re here to restore the body
—through Scripture, through natural medicine, and Holy Spirit filled insight
Legal Coverage & Safety
All care is delivered under a Private Membership Association (PMA). We are not state-licensed medical providers—we are a faith-based, educational healing ministry. Your membership grants you full access to our care model and keeps us all legally protected and spiritually aligned.