Real Healthcare

If you’re healthy, we’ll help you get healthier.
If you’re sick, we’ll give you hope—and everything you need to get better.

Absurd Health is not insurance. It’s better.
We’re your first line of defense, your spirit-led health team, and your ongoing care provider—outside the medical system.

When you join, you become part of a private covenant membership that gives you access to:

  • Breakthrough health plans

  • Faith-based consultations

  • Custom nutrition and supplement protocols

  • Fasting guidance

  • Counseling, coaching, and prevention

You don’t need to wait for a diagnosis.
You don’t need permission from a doctor.
You just need to join—and start healing.

What’s inside

Sale Price: $29.00 Original Price: $49.00

Basic Member – $49/month

  • Full access to protocols and courses

  • One annual custom healing plan

  • Monthly group Q&A calls

  • Educational email series

  • 10% off all store purchases

Complete Care — $149/month
Sale Price: $99.00 Original Price: $149.00

Complete Care – $149/month

Everything in Basic, plus:

  • One 1-on-1 consults per month

  • Priority protocol design & coaching access

  • Full supplement optimization

  • One Free Counseling session per month

  • Custom reading, fasting, and spiritual rhythm plan

  • Roundtable review eligibility (1/year)

  • 20% off all store purchases

Family Plan — $199/month
Sale Price: $149.00 Original Price: $199.00

Family Plan – $199/month

Covers two adults + all children

  • Pediatric support + parasite strategy

  • Active recovery plans

  • Two Free Counseling Sessions per month

  • Family food and rhythm protocols

  • Birth and postpartum coaching access

  • Priority access for crisis care

  • 25% off all store purchases

The Absurd Health Roundtable Review
$450.00

The Absurd Health Roundtable Review

Get the Wisdom of a Team, Not Just One Voice.

When you're dealing with chronic illness, breakthrough requires more than a single opinion. Our Roundtable Reviewbrings together multiple certified professionals from different disciplines—biological, spiritual, and clinical—to evaluate your case and provide a comprehensive 360° healing strategy.

Every Roundtable is convened for one purpose: to help you get well.

What’s Included:

  • A full review of your intake, symptoms, history, labs (if applicable), and current challenges

  • 3–4 expert perspectives from our team: RD physicians, terrain specialists, spiritual counselors, trauma practitioners, or birth/fertility advisors

  • A 20–30 minute recorded case discussion (video or audio)

  • A personalized Breakthrough Report: your 90-day recovery path with specific action steps

  • Supplement, dietary, spiritual, and lifestyle strategy

  • Referral to follow-up resources (consults, labs, retreats, or coaching)

Who This Is For:

  • Those with complex, unresolved illness

  • Those needing direction after multiple failed treatments

  • Families seeking a non-fragmented, faith-based path forward

  • Anyone who feels stuck and wants clarity + conviction + a plan

Cost:

$450 (flat)
Members on the Complete or Family plan receive $100–$200 discount.

This Is Not Conventional Medicine.

You’re not getting passed from one specialist to another. You’re getting a team of aligned professionals who understand your body and your soul. We pray, we think, we listen—and we return with a plan.

Let us walk with you toward restoration.

Breakthrough Support

Upon diagnosis, members can request a Breakthrough Plan at any time.
This includes:

  • Intake + lab review (optional)

  • 90-day terrain recovery protocol

  • Specific treatment plan for your diagnosis

  • Coaching check-in

  • Progress updates and plan refresh

  • Designed for: cancer, autoimmunity, fertility, anxiety, long COVID, burnout, trauma

Cost for members: FREE

Life Coaching Included

As a member, you receive one complimentary life coaching session per month—because healing is more than physical. These 45-minute sessions are designed to help you gain clarity, direction, and momentum in your personal, relational, or vocational life.

Our certified coaches offer biblically rooted wisdom, practical strategy, and Spirit-led insight to help you move forward with purpose. Whether you’re navigating a major life decision, overcoming discouragement, or reorienting your future, your coach is here to walk with you.

One session per month is included in all membership tiers. Additional sessions available at discounted member rates.

We’re not here to manage symptoms.
We’re here to restore the body
—through Scripture, through natural medicine, and Holy Spirit filled insight

Join Today


→ Waiver form automatically emailed
→ Start your intake within 24 hours

Sale Price: $99.00 Original Price: $149.00
Sale Price: $29.00 Original Price: $49.00
Sale Price: $149.00 Original Price: $199.00

Legal Coverage & Safety

All care is delivered under a Private Membership Association (PMA). We are not state-licensed medical providers—we are a faith-based, educational healing ministry. Your membership grants you full access to our care model and keeps us all legally protected and spiritually aligned.