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The Universal Terrain Mapping Kit — see the next 15 years of your health.

$795.00

A single blood draw that maps over 80 disease pathways and shows where your body is heading — so you can steer it back.

Your health doesn’t suddenly “happen.” It trends. The Universal Terrain Mapping Kit reads deep patterns in metabolism, inflammation, hormones, nutrients, blood vessels and immune tone long before symptoms arrive. Every marker is run by a national clinical laboratory and translated by Absurd Health into a clear plan: what to optimize now, which system is asking for help, and which focused kit will answer it. In 2–5 days after your draw you receive your Terrain Intelligence Report, and a human clinician walks you through it. You’ll know exactly what to do next — years ahead of the curve.

What’s included:

  • National-lab bloodwork (single draw)

  • Absurd Health Terrain Intelligence Report

  • One-hour expert consult

  • A precise recommendation for your next step (one secondary kit)

Logistics:
After purchase, you’ll receive our embossed Terrain Envelope in 3–5 business days with simple instructions. You can attend one of our partner’s locations to coordinate your draw. That’s it.

A single blood draw that maps over 80 disease pathways and shows where your body is heading — so you can steer it back.

Your health doesn’t suddenly “happen.” It trends. The Universal Terrain Mapping Kit reads deep patterns in metabolism, inflammation, hormones, nutrients, blood vessels and immune tone long before symptoms arrive. Every marker is run by a national clinical laboratory and translated by Absurd Health into a clear plan: what to optimize now, which system is asking for help, and which focused kit will answer it. In 2–5 days after your draw you receive your Terrain Intelligence Report, and a human clinician walks you through it. You’ll know exactly what to do next — years ahead of the curve.

What’s included:

  • National-lab bloodwork (single draw)

  • Absurd Health Terrain Intelligence Report

  • One-hour expert consult

  • A precise recommendation for your next step (one secondary kit)

Logistics:
After purchase, you’ll receive our embossed Terrain Envelope in 3–5 business days with simple instructions. You can attend one of our partner’s locations to coordinate your draw. That’s it.