“He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man…” — Psalm 104:14

Naturopathic Consultation

Your Body Was Made to Heal. We Help It Remember.

Modern medicine treats symptoms. We treat terrain. At Absurd, our naturopathic consultation is not about suppressing disease—it’s about listening to what the body is saying and responding with wisdom, reverence, and real restoration.

We do not prescribe pharmaceuticals.
We do not diagnose in the conventional medical sense.
We walk with you to discover what went wrong—and what can go right again.

Through in-depth one-on-one sessions, we uncover your unique terrain story: what you’ve been through, what your body is expressing, and what spiritual, dietary, microbial, and emotional layers must be healed.

Whether you're battling fatigue, infertility, autoimmune dysfunction, chronic inflammation, long-term parasitic burden, or mysterious symptoms that no doctor can explain—we believe healing is not only possible, it is your inheritance.

What to Expect

We offer standalone sessions, long-term subscription care, and condition-specific consults. Our job is not to take authority over your body—but to equip you to restore what’s been lost.

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Who We Work With

We only accept clients who:

  • Are looking for terrain-based, natural solutions

  • Have exhausted conventional medicine—or wish to avoid it altogether

  • Are ready to take responsibility for their healing with support

  • Understand that we are not physicians and do not offer prescriptions or “treatments” in the conventional sense

  • Are willing to learn, apply, and spiritually engage with their healing journey

If this is you, we would be honored to walk beside you.

Our Philosophy

We believe all illness is terrain collapse. And all terrain can be rebuilt.
We believe Yahweh gave us herbs for healing and wisdom for discernment.
We believe your body is not broken—it is warning you. And we are here to help you hear it.

Book a Session

Choose from our standard consultation or one of our subscription options [link to plans].

If you are unsure where to start, try our 20-minute intro consult for $29—a limited time offer to meet your naturopath, share your goals, and decide if this path is for you.

Your restoration is waiting.