Terms of Service

Effective Date: JUNE 1ST 2025

Welcome to Absurd Health, a Holy Spirit-led parallel healthcare platform. By accessing our website, purchasing our products, or using our services—including telehealth counseling, retreats, fasting programs, or educational content—you agree to be bound by the following Terms of Service (“Terms”).

These Terms apply to all users of the site, including without limitation users who are browsers, customers, patients, clients, and/or contributors of content.

1. Who We Are

Absurd Health is a faith-based, Ohio-based platform that offers:

  • Natural health products and supplements

  • Books and educational materials

  • Telehealth and biblical counseling

  • Health retreats and spiritual programs

  • Healing-focused content rooted in Scripture and scientific research

Our services are provided as-is, blending biological insights with spiritual guidance. We do not promise cure or guarantee outcome.

2. Eligibility

You must be at least 18 years old to use this site or participate in any telehealth or counseling services. By using our site or services, you affirm that you are of legal age and possess the legal capacity to enter into this agreement.

3. Medical Disclaimer

Absurd Health is not a conventional medical provider. While some services are delivered by licensed professionals, much of our guidance is spiritually rooted and biblically based.

  • We do not diagnose, treat, or prescribe for any specific disease or condition.

  • All content and services are informational or devotional in nature and should not replace the advice of a licensed healthcare provider.

  • Users are responsible for consulting with their physicians before beginning any supplement, cleanse, or protocol.

4. HIPAA Compliance & Health Information

For services that involve Protected Health Information (PHI), we are HIPAA-compliant. All PHI collected during counseling, telehealth, or retreats is stored securely and disclosed only as permitted by law.

You agree:

  • To provide accurate, complete information when engaging in telehealth or spiritual care

  • That you are voluntarily submitting information for care rooted in biblical principles

See our full Privacy Policy for more information.

5. Products and Services

We strive for accuracy in all product descriptions, pricing, and availability. However, we do not guarantee that all information is always current or error-free. We reserve the right to:

  • Correct errors or omissions

  • Refuse or cancel any orders at our discretion

  • Limit sales of products or services to specific individuals, regions, or jurisdictions

All products are for personal use only and not for resale unless explicitly agreed in writing.

6. Payment & Refund Policy

We accept secure payments through our ecommerce platform.

Refunds:

  • Digital products and downloadable content are non-refundable

  • Physical products may be returned unopened within 14 days of receipt

  • Telehealth or counseling appointments must be canceled at least 24 hours in advance for a refund

Please contact support@absurdhealth.com for all refund or dispute inquiries.

7. Spiritual Services & Consent

By participating in counseling, prayer, or deliverance-based healing sessions, you affirm:

  • That you understand these services are faith-based

  • That you freely consent to spiritual guidance grounded in biblical worldview

  • That results are not guaranteed, and that you are responsible for your own decisions

We reserve the right to refuse service if spiritual manipulation, hostility, or disrespectful conduct occurs.

8. Intellectual Property

All content on this site—including books, PDFs, course materials, logos, and product formulations—is the exclusive property of Absurd Health / Klesia Press and protected by copyright.

You may not:

  • Copy, reproduce, or distribute content without permission

  • Claim authorship of any materials

  • Use our branding without written consent

9. User Behavior

You agree not to:

  • Use our website for any unlawful purpose

  • Attempt to gain unauthorized access to our systems

  • Submit false health information

  • Post harmful, defamatory, or inappropriate content

We reserve the right to terminate access for any violation of these terms.

10. Third-Party Services

Our website may integrate with or link to third-party platforms such as Shopify, Stripe, Zoom, or others. These platforms operate independently and have their own terms and privacy policies.

We are not responsible for:

  • The content or functionality of external services

  • Any loss or damages resulting from your use of third-party tools

Use of third-party platforms is at your own risk.

11. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify, defend, and hold harmless Absurd Health, its founders, affiliates, team members, and partners from any claim, liability, or legal fees arising out of:

  • Your use of the website, services, or products

  • Your violation of these Terms

  • Any third-party claims related to your actions or use of this platform

12. Force Majeure

We shall not be held liable for failure or delay in performance due to circumstances beyond our control, including but not limited to:

  • Natural disasters

  • Acts of God

  • Internet outages

  • Supply chain disruptions

  • Government mandates

  • Pandemics or civil unrest

13. Affiliate Disclosure

From time to time, Absurd Health may recommend third-party products through affiliate links. We may receive compensation if you purchase through these links, at no extra cost to you. We only recommend products we believe in.

14. Telehealth Limitations Across Jurisdictions

Our telehealth services are intended to comply with U.S. laws. Access may be restricted in certain states or countries. It is your responsibility to ensure services are permitted where you reside.

15. Modifications to Terms

We reserve the right to update or modify these Terms at any time. Any changes will be posted to this page. Continued use of the website or services after updates constitutes acceptance of those changes.

16. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of the State of Ohio, without regard to conflict of law principles. Any disputes shall be resolved in the courts of Hamilton County, Ohio.

17. Contact Us

If you have questions about these Terms, please reach out:
Absurd Health
3216 River Rd
Cincinnati, OH 45204
📧 legal@absurdhealth.com
📞 7077-ABSURD