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Family Plan — $199/month

Family Plan — $199/month

Complete Care — $149/month

Complete Care — $149/month

Basic Member — $49/month

Basic Member — $49/month

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The products, protocols, services, and educational materials on this site are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. All consultations and programs are provided under a naturopathic and educational framework, not medical advice. Always consult your licensed physician before beginning any new health regimen. Absurd Health and its practitioners do not claim to replace medical care, but offer spiritual and natural wellness strategies rooted in biblical and holistic traditions. We are a full-stack platform built on a proprietary terrain-based medical model that replaces symptom suppression with total biological restoration. Our protocols, diagnostic systems, and practitioner training programs form a complete, alternative healthcare ecosystem - fully distinct from pharmaceutical medicine.

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