Blood Tests & Microbiome Kits
Diagnose the Terrain. Discern the Root.
Before healing begins, the terrain must be revealed.
At Absurd, we don’t guess. We test the system, then walk you through what it means—biologically and spiritually.
Our blood testing and microbiome diagnostics are not designed to label you with disease. They are designed to reveal terrain dysfunctions—to expose where parasites are stealing, where hormones have collapsed, and where the gut no longer defends the soul.
This is revelatory medicine: clean, accurate, and Holy Spirit-led.
What We Offer
Full Blood Terrain Panels
Inflammation markers (CRP, homocysteine, ferritin)
Hormone patterns (thyroid, cortisol, estrogen, testosterone, DHEA)
Blood sugar, insulin, and fasting lipid response
Liver stress, bile function, iron storage, detox capacity
Nutrient sufficiency: B12, folate, copper, zinc, and more
We read results differently. Not to medicate—but to map your terrain weaknesses and spiritual vulnerabilities.
Microbiome Mapping Kits
Gut pathogen screening (parasites, yeast, bacteria, viruses)
Biofilm activity and mucosal lining analysis
Neurotransmitter precursors and short-chain fatty acids
Fungal & sulfur gas production patterns
Terrain balance: Firmicutes/Bacteroidetes, Akkermansia, Methanobrevibacter
Kits are sent to your home, or you’ll go to a blood draw clinic, then results will be reviewed in-depth in a biblical, naturopathic, and terrain-based consultation.
Why We’re Different
No obsession with numbers. Just Spirit-led terrain discernment.
You receive interpretation with purpose—not confusion and fear.
Every reading is prayed over. Every report is a prophetic map for healing.
Results are used to tailor your fast, your herbs, your nutrition, and your deliverance path.
We teach you what your own body is saying—so you never feel blind again.
Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost…?
1 Corinthians 6:19
Get Our Tests.
You are not broken.
You are revealing where restoration must begin.
